writing habit


On Sunday, after we returned from Puerto Vallarta, I did some laundry.  Then, after putting a load in, I started to do some writing, which required headphones from my iPod.  But I couldn’t find my iPod — until I remembered where I last saw it.  In the pocket of my gray hoodie. The same hoodie that was now swimming in the soapy brine of my washing machine.  When I fished it out, it was thoroughly soaked.  Apparently, when you submerge an iPod in cold sudsy water for 10 minutes, it dies.  Who knew?

So, I’ve been living iPod-less for four days. It feels like giving up caffeine or crack.  I used my iPod for two basic functions:  music while I exercise (to take my mind off of exercising) and music for my 25 minute bus commutes to and from work. 

I only exercised on Monday (due to some writing deadlines I’ve been pushing), but I actually had to think on my half an hour walk.  Not hum along to Ani or Tori, but think about what I was seeing and feeling.  It was nice to notice the landscape in my neighborhood, the two squirrels trying to “do it” in the road, the sky growing pink above the Basilica. 

My bus commute has been more challenging.  I obviously travel the same route every day.  In the morning, I share the bus with many of the same passengers.  It’s kind of boring.  I realize that my iPod allows me to withdraw from the world.  Pretty much everyone is wearing one, so we can all retreat into our little self-pods and ignore each other.  At times this is valuable, such as when the crazy guy is ranting three seats away.  But last night I listened to a son describe to his father the picture he drew in day care that day. I got to see their physical resemblance and watch as the dad draped his arm over his son. Would I have missed that in my musical solitude?  Probably.

So, now I’m stuck.  Do I buy another vial of musical heroin or do I live with the silence? As soon as I realized my iPod had died, I was scoping the websites for the best deals.  I think I’m arguing for an iPod-less life, since I really don’t know if I should spend the money on a new one.  And I like being able to think and hear my thoughts.  (Even though that scares me and I don’t really care for the banality of most of my thoughts.) 

I’m interested to hear from other writers who choose to pod or not pod.  Why do you pod?  Do you limit your podding?  Why don’t you pod? What’s the trade-off?

Most importantly, do you think I should get an 80G iPod, because I can find it really cheaply, even though I only have a 60G hard drive on my laptop or should I just get the 30G and live with less?

I’ve been doing a lot of writing and online research for the last couple of weeks, for my freelancing gig.  I have spent hours in front of my computer, after already spending eight hours at work in front of a bigger computer.  Don’t worry, I’m enjoying it.

One of the things that makes it so enjoyable (other than the writing is really fun) is that my father turned me on to Pandora.  Now, please excuse the plugging of an ad-supported website*.  But I don’t think that I could survive the hours in front of my computer without it. 

With Pandora, you can create free internet radio stations that you (or anyone you share it with) can listen and enjoy.  You just plug in an artist or a song title that you like and then Pandora searches for music that fits the same musical “type.”  It’s part of a musical genome project, which traces the commonalities between music.  It’s brilliant! 

I have six stations right now — acoustic female singers like Ani Difranco, acoustic male singers like Greg Brown and Simon and Garfunkel, feminist punk music like Bikini Kill and Sleater-Kinney, classics like Frank Sinatra, goth and industrial like The Cure, and soul/rap like Jurassic 5 and Lauryn Hill.  If I get sick of one station, I transfer to another.  And I think (but don’t quote me on this) but you can make as many stations as you want.  I’ve discovered a lot of new artists that I now like and I’ve powered through my freelancing with a song in my head.  Actually, lots of songs in my head.  If you like music and have a good internet connection, I would highly recommend it. 

* I have not been given any restitution for my recommendation. I just really really like the site. A lot.

Yes, I am still here.  But, I feel like I’ve got a writing hangover, similar to that I experienced after NaBloWriMo.  Even though I tuckered out on NaPoWriMo 5 days early, I’m a little tapped out. I’ve also had to play some catch up on reviews (Page 4 of the PDF for my Uptown Girl review), so I’ve had a momentary retreat from blogging. 

However, I have been doing other things (yes, there are other things) including…

  • Seeing a Twin’s Game with my hubby, as well as Mr. Horrorpants and his wife. The Twins are actually on a winning streak, although that phrase will probably jinx it.
  • Enjoying the beautiful weather - it’s finally above 50 degrees.
  • Recovering from the massive report I had to coordinate at work.  I am so glad it’s done, never to be coordinated again.  I hope.
  • Reading my next book to review for Uptown Neighborhood News, State of the Onion by Julie Hyzy
  • Watching Season One of The Riches– I have a huge crush on Eddie Izzard now.
  • Finishing Asphalt Sky.  I swear to God it’s coming out soon. 

So life is good.  Just not very bloggable right now.  And that’s okay. 

 

 

 

My worldly responsibilities got the best of me.  Unfortunately, I missed Friday through Sunday of NaPoWriMo, because I was working on other things. I think the problem for me was that poetry takes a bit of attention and I put my attention in so many different directions.  So, for now, I’m surrendering on NaPoWriMo, although I may crank out a few more quatrains on the bus this week.

So here is my final count for the project:

24 Poems Written
1 Prose Poem
1 Found Poem
12 Quatrains
4 Free Verse
1 Syllabic
2 Batches of American Sentences
2 Haiku
1 Ghazal

Overall, this is a darn good count and I’m proud of it. This is probably more poetry than I’ve written in 2-3 months, so I think that this project was still a success, even if I had to surrender with 6 days left.  Maybe next year I’ll go the distance…



…our sun has finally returned. I never thought that a long stretch of cold weather would affect me so much. But now that the sun is returning, I’m having some serious spring fever.

Which leads me to creating. I’m starting a new project, which I’m not quite ready to unveil yet. (I want to make sure I stick to it first.) I’m finishing up submissions for Asphalt Sky, so the new issue should be out by the end of April. And, I baked muffins for breakfast last weekend. Even though they came out of a box, they sure are pretty.

These past couple of weeks, I’ve been doing many things, but writing isn’t one of them. I’ve been keeping up with my articles, for the most part, but I have stopped my daily writing on the bus and I haven’t been able to regularly keep up with prompts from read. write. poem.

So, I’ve decided to change my daily writing practice a bit. I haven’t enjoyed the morning pages, so I’ve decided to write one syllabic quatrain a day. I began writing syllabic quatrains in graduate school while writing my thesis, because I figured, if I could get out at least 40 syllables, that was good enough. Several times, I’ve written quatrains around a theme and then brought them together in one poem. Right now, though, I’m not thinking that far ahead. I’m merely trying to get my hand moving.

So, I began writing quatrains on Thursday, and I now have three. Funny enough, they all center around the last RWP prompt of sacrifice, so I’m submitting them belatedly for RWP. (I haven’t even started on my ode, which is due on Monday.) I may not publish my daily quatrains every day, but I will try to post the ones that I’ve found interesting.

On Sacrifice

When wanting, I’m left with the metal
tang of blood on my tongue, remnants of skin
clipped from cuticle, chewed from the soft
flesh of my cheek. I never wanted more.

(Tuesday, February 12)
* * *

I’ve lived with less, intentionally, less
creased books and wrinkled receipts, less shopping
malls crammed with clothes. I laid myself prostrate
on acrylic counters, begged for my price.

(Wednesday, February 13)
* * *

Today, I woke from weeping dreams, hiccups
and sighs I’ve hoarded for years. I only
recall bright glimpses of someone else’s
treasures, glittering hopes I’ve long since lost.

(Thursday, February 14)

I was very fortunate to be able to interview Tao Lin via Gmail last week, in preparation for our PBC discussion of his book of poetry, you are a little bit happier than i am. Below is the interview. Enjoy!

What or who are your main influences on your poetry?

My main influences for the poetry book you read are the people I wrote about in the book, the “you” in many of the poems. I am interested in all those people, the things they’ve said or done, and I think about them when I’m alone and not thinking about myself.

How would you describe your dominant aesthetic in writing poetry? Do you have primarily visual goals, thematic goals, oral/aural goals, or a combination?

My dominant aesthetic in writing poetry is that I try to write what I want to read. It changes a lot, what I want to read. There are a lot of things I don’t want to read though, that doesn’t change as much. I don’t want to read poetry that will make a 12-year-old feel stupid. I don’t want to read poetry that will make someone who works at Kmart and has never read poetry feel stupid. I don’t want to read poetry that has the power to make anyone feel stupid.

Your poetry is quite a leap forward from the “establishment” type of poetry, thematically and aesthetically. You can tell that you are a member of our generation, when you read your work. How does this affect you commercially?

That was a funny question, I stared at it reading with a neutral facial expression and then laughed a little at the end. I don’t think it has been “exploited” yet at all that the poetry book you read could be marketed as a “voice of a generation” or something book. If someone involved in the book had the ambition or something to do that I think it could sell a lot of copies and a lot of teenagers and college kids would read it. If MTV released the book I think they could sell a lot of copies. Still, it has sold a lot of copies I think for poetry. I think it has sold something like 1200 copies or something, and it seems to be selling more now than when it came out.

I think the “establishment” type of poetry you talk about is also written by “members of our generation.” I mean 24-year-olds are not all writing poetry that is like the poetry in my poetry book. So it is not a generational thing I think. I don’t think anything at all is a generational thing. There is a percentage of humans that thinks a certain way, like 2% are really alienated, 18% appreciate humans that are really alienated, and 80% appreciate sports, or something, and those numbers stay constant maybe no matter what year you were born in. Generational things may change those numbers a little but not much. These numbers are not based on any facts.

I found myself thinking a lot about all the personification in your poems. Food thanks you for eating it, literary magazines beg you to buy them. How do these characters occur to you?

I think it first occurred to me either through my mom, dad, reading Joy Williams, or my friend who does that a lot, talks about inanimate things like they have feelings and thoughts. When I was five or something if I saw a stuffed animal with its face covered by another stuffed animal’s ass or something I would move the stuffed animal so its face would not be covered. Then I would feel better. Thinking like this makes me feel better because it makes life less significant. If a stuffed animal endures like 5000 days of having its face crushed by a box or something then I can endure not getting text messaged back by someone I like. A stuffed animal sits there, it doesn’t move, what if it’s alive and conscious but just really enlightened, and so chooses to go against consciousness and therefore not have to “deal with” existential despair, the “burden” of having to choose in a universe that does not tell us what to choose? This is comforting to me and exciting.

I’m also really interested in your book’s overall tone. The language seems very ironic, a kind of wry sense of humor. Do you find yourself ever wanting to commit to some flowery, purplish prose? How do you marry the tone to your subject matter?

My story-collection, BED, has “flowery, purplish prose,” I think. It is still “ironic” and “wry” though. I don’t know how I marry the tone to my subject matter. I usually want to write in a tone that is not angry, bitter, or desperate. I feel desperation and anger and bitterness but I feel them for like 5 minutes. Most of the time I feel something else. That is the tone I try to write in for most of my things. For me to get the tone like that it takes a lot of editing.

It is like when I went fishing with my family when I was small. One day a hammerhead shark jumped out of the water and ate half of a bluefish that someone caught. That only happened once. It isn’t how it always is. To get like how it usually is when someone goes fishing I would need to go fishing with my family like one hundred days in a row.

You use a lot of references to the business of writing in your poetry: book awards, rejections, literary agents, et al. Some poets ban this type of subject from their writing, as if it doesn’t exist. Why did you first start including it in your writing?

I think maybe 5% of the words in the book reference the business of writing. I didn’t think any more about “why I should include it” than about why I should include the word “the” or “and” or something. So if I included it it was probably because it was something I wanted to read. Because I try to write what I want to read.

In college in a writing workshop one person said I was post-modern. I think they said that because I included “Washington Square Park” in one of my stories or something. I asked them what they meant by post-modern. I asked if they could name some authors and they couldn’t and then they said Dave Eggers.

You write fiction, poetry, and a blog and you publish in all three forms. What’s your process like? When do you sleep?

If I am not working the next day I go to sleep around 6 a.m. That is my natural time for feeling sleepy I think. On Christmas I tried to sleep the entire day because the library was closed and everything else was also closed. I dislike holidays. I slept from 8:30 a.m. to 10:30 p.m. on Christmas. Then I planned that I would just not sleep that night and go to the library at 7 a.m. when it opened and then go to work at 10 p.m. I work in a restaurant.

My process for poetry is I usually have a file of poetry and I work on it if I feel like doing poetry. Then I save the file and email it to myself. For my next novel I have a file it’s in and I usually have it open and work on it every day mostly. 95% of the time on the novel is spent working on parts I’ve already worked on many times before, I change some words or try moving the words in the sentences around or try moving the sentences around or deleting a word or a sentence. Then for the other 5% of the time I will write more, add to the novel, or I will look at the entire novel and think about if I want to delete large sections or move some things around.

For my blog I will be on Gmail chat and say something to someone. Then I will say, “I should blog that.” Then the other person will say, “You should.” Then I try it. If it’s stupid I save it as a draft, if it is exciting I publish it.

You have a couple of epic length poems in your book. How does the writing and revision process differ between poems like “i am unemployed” and “i want to pour orange juice on my face”?

I dislike the longest poem, the one about poodles. I worked on that poem the most out of any of the other poems in the book. It doesn’t fit the tone of the book I don’t think.

For “i want to pour orange juice on my face” I wrote it and then deleted words that I could delete and still have it have the same meaning. For “i am unemployed” I think I did the same thing. The one I worked on a lot was the really long one that has poodles i it. For that one I had it in a file and I worked on it every day for like 20 days or something.

A lot of your poems seem to center around these “i want” fantasies? Do you keep track of all the weird and mundane things you want or do you have a larger process?

I just thought about what I wanted and typed it. There is always something I want. Sometimes I say I don’t want anything but that’s being ironic most of the time I think. Really I am saying “I wish I didn’t want anything.” So if I want to write a poem about what I want I just think about my brain and what it wants and I type that.

This week, I filled my first Academie journal with morning pages from my bus commute. I’ve been at this practice for about two and a half months now, and I’m not sure how I feel about it. I like the accomplishment of filling a journal, but I feel like it all says the same thing. Here are the people on the bus, this is what the landscape looks like, I want to complain about this. I’ve been mentally calling them Mourning Pages for the past couple of weeks.

While I’m trying to think of a better way to spend my 20 minutes on the bus, I made this new journal cover with my new paper and a postcard I bought at the art museum last month. The teeny tiny quote by the bottom of the picture is a quote from a John Keats poem:

She will bring, in spite of frost,
Beauties that the earth hath lost

Around the border is my own imagining of what she’s thinking while posing for the picture.

I’m not sure if the cover is done, so I haven’t laminated it yet. I’m going to spend the weekend with it, and see if I like it. This is one of the only creative things I’ve done this week. It feels good to create, even for only an hour or so last night.

The other creative act for the week is a collaborative poem for read. write. poem with Jack from Monkeyboy. it was an interesting experience writing something line by line via email with another person. It’s a pretty cool poem and I know I wouldn’t have written anything like it alone. I will post it after the holiday. Until then, I’ll be spending time with my in-laws and generally making merry.

Happy Holidays!

I’m doing a virtual victory lap around my computer today, because I made it through the gauntlet. I’m certainly glad that I signed up for NaBloPoMo, because I learned something about my blogging and writing habits, but I feel a little like hibernating for a couple of days. Okay, a lot like hibernating.

What did I learn about myself through nanabooboo? Well, there were some positive things, like:

* I can commit to writing something every day.
* It helped that I journal on the bus every day, because it helped me gather ideas.
* I got to read and watch a lot of other talented bloggers slog through NaBlo too.
* I can make time to blog every day, because it only takes 15 minutes or so.
* Memes are not cop-outs, they are saviors.
* It’s fun to do a writing challenge with my husband.
* When I have to post something interesting every day, I do more interesting things. Sometimes.
* I only need to whine once a month.

But there were also some challenges (or opportunities for growth, as I used to tell my students), such as:

* Not everything in my life is bloggable. In fact, there are some days that I don’t have anything exciting going on in my life. And that’s okay.
* Really, my ideal pace is 4-5 posts a week. The extra two to three were difficult.
* When I blog too much, I’m less excited about writing poetry and articles.
* When I blog too much, I also don’t read as much. Or watch as much TV. So, this is both positive and negative.
* Sometimes external pressure doesn’t create brilliance. Sometimes, it just stresses me out.

I’m definitely thinking of doing this again next year. It’s better than the alternative.

Click here to see my whole nanabooboo, in all its “glory.” Also, visit the NaBloPoMo site and tell everyone that they’re cool.

It’s a funny kind of blessing that my blog birthday is occurring during NaBloPoMo. One year ago today, I began my blog with this post. I started thinking about my blog back then, with this Hemingway quote in mind: “As long as you start, you are all right. The juice will come.” I was feeling uninspired, unremarkable, and generally more 9 to 5 than Poet in my daily life. Rereading this post, I can see how much writing this blog has changed me and my writing practice, and for that I’m grateful.

If it weren’t for this blog and the communities like Writers Island, Poetry Thursday, Fertile Ground, Totally Optional Prompts, and the new read. write. poem., I don’t think I would be writing as much as I am nor feeling as secure in my writing as I do. I also wouldn’t have “met” alot of really amazing writers who are trying to devote time to their own creative practice. I also think I’d probably still be at my last job, feeling miserable and unfulfilled. So writing this blog has definitely been a boon in my life.

Some random stats:
* 267 posts (not including this one, nor including the ones where I link back to places like Technorati)
* 49 labels (not including the above mentioned link back labels)
* “famous writers” and “Inspiration” most populated labels, with 39 posts each
* 3 different templates used (dark dots, rounders, and the current altered minima lefty stretch)
* approximately 89 hours spent navel gazing (assuming 20 minutes per post, without any other navel gazing occuring outside the blog)

Thanks for reading & I hope I can make it through another year! By then, the blog will be potty trained.

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